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Why I don't swipe right

So the Dating Disastee is back from travels and ready to try and crack the dating world once more…

But first, an observation. People in relationships love dating apps. Not for themselves (I hope), but my non-single friends are always making suggestions on how to improve my profile, which pictures I should be using and having a good old swipe through the current offering in my radius - getting very excited whenever they successfully ‘match’ me. 

 But everyone has such completely different tastes as to what is attractive in the opposite sex and in what constitutes a profile worthy of them making that all-important swipe right, that I often find myself with lots of matches that I have no interest in whatsoever. And it got me thinking more about this…

The photos.
With dating app users making a decision as to whether they like you based entirely on your looks in the space of a second, as fickle as it is, photos are really important. 

 And that’s why some selections completely baffle me. I just don’t understand why a guy would ever use a selfie of themselves posing in their gym toilet with their top off and their head cut off! And I do wonder who these girls are that are swiping right in response to pictures like these. If indeed there are any! 

But then everyone’s objective for and experience of using dating apps differs massively. I am not looking for a one night stand and so I try to pick guys that seem to be of a similar mindset. Try is the operative word as obviously it’s impossible to know anything for sure based on the limited information at your disposal. But I thankfully have never been the recipient of a ‘dick pic’, whereas one of my friends who openly admits she is more casual in her dating objectives, has had numerous!

Aside from these obviously dodgy guys however, it does seem that most people on these apps follow a similar formulaic approach to picture selection: The ‘I am adventurous’ posing on a mountain one, the ‘I do have friends’ group one, the ‘I am fun with a great sense of humour’ fancy dress one and ‘I have a wild side’ festival one. I sadly also follow this approach to some extent. You have to play the game after all.

The ‘About Me’ section.
A place where you are supposed to convey a flavour of who you are (minus anything weird) in minimal words. Many guys I have spoken to say they don’t even look at this bit, their swiping selections are based entirely on the poor girl’s pictures, whereas I, perhaps naively, use it as a tool to create my own overall impression of this complete stranger. 

 Again, there seems to be a standard formula: ‘I’m into the usual things…’, ‘I like going out/staying in, coffee/tea’ (delete as appropriate) and that’s why it’s quite refreshing to see something a bit clever or different, and if I am not completely sold on someone’s pictures but they have an interesting profile I would often swipe right to see how the chat matches up. As an aside, my 'interesting' profile fact, my USP if you like, is my love of chickens...always gets some funny conversation starters!

I was trying to work out how I make a decision to swipe left or right. I make it so quickly that for anyone who hasn’t used the apps themselves, it probably seems quite brutal. But it’s all self-preservation, using my previous experiences to try and avoid making the same mistakes again. 

 I guess everyone has a subconscious list of criteria or 'dating deal-breakers' - the definite no no’s (although obviously these are still just at pre-chat, pre-date stage - many more could become apparent upon actually meeting!) and I found it quite interesting trying to list what mine are for this blog. 

 I may seem incredibly judgmental, but I am sure if you were to make your own list you wouldn’t come out squeaky clean yourself...we can’t all fancy everyone!

When do I swipe left?
-If all pictures are selfies
-Naked/topless shots
-Overuse of emoji’s
-Bad grammar
-Chavvy clothes
-Too much beard
-Too many tattoos
-If there are no smiley pictures
-Less than 5’7
-They have children
-If they’re posing with a drugged tiger/lion/bear
-Only one photo
-No ‘About me’ information
-Too polished
-Flexing muscles

Luckily, having been away for a few weeks, there was fresh blood within my app radius and I have some potential disastrous dates lined up, so will provide more updates soon…

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