Because I really liked this guy. But I was such a fool. He turned out to be a complete dick. Here's the story...
He was from Bumble and we had a really good first date (Brewhouse, Clifton). He's a film director and had some interesting shoots coming up, so we had lots in common and I thought he was super hot. We stayed out late for a school night, had far too much alcohol and ended up sharing an Uber. He has been the only guy from any of these dating apps who actually tried to come home with me after the first date (the old 'can I come up for coffee' classic) and although I said no, in hindsight that maybe should have been a warning sign.
We ended up going on lots more dates...for drinks, meals out, picnics in the park and I met some of his friends - it felt like a Bumble success story in the making!
Within a month we had been on two weekends away together - one to his university city and the other to his home county, with him pointing out all his favourites places and doing a drive-by past his parent's house, and I in turn took him for a walk down the beloved coombe in my village. We started talking a bit about 'us' and making more distant (albeit still very vague) plans.
This sickening speale is just to make the point that I thought everything was going well between us and made what happened hurt even more.
I knew that his work would take him away for varying lengths of time and was aware that he had a 3-week shoot coming up in the states. We talked and agreed that, although we had only been dating a short while, we really liked each other so would pick things up again when he got back.
So he left but, as I actually had inwardly predicted, soon after messaged to say his bosses had asked him to stay on for a couple more months.
I was pretty devastated, but his message was lovely. He said that timings just weren't on our side right now, but that he really liked me and although he didn't expect me to wait for him (fricking most double sided comment ever) that we would catch up when he got back.
Having been in a long-distance relationship previously I knew that, although it's hard, the months can fly by, and despite still dating other people (disastrously, as evidenced here) I knew I liked this guy and was really just passing the time waiting for him to return (as sad as that sounds!)
It was so frustrating, but I got over it and with him not living in Bristol (he's a bit of a nomad as he lived abroad for 6 years) and needing to pick kit up from the Bristol office, I said he could stay at mine those 2 days and booked the second day off work especially so that we could spend more time together.
The day I was to see him again I annoyed my colleagues by jabbering on about how amazing he was and how excited I was to see him again. We met up during my lunch break on the first day he was back and spent an hour catching up and talking about his trip.
Following that, the time we spent together evolved entirely around him - on my day off we went shopping for him, met his friends for lunch, saw a film he wanted to see at the cinema (IT - the last thing I'd ever waste my money on seeing), went to his choice of restaurant and all the conversation revolved around him.
I didn't mind too much at the time, I was just happy to spend time with him, joking that he would have to owe me when I saw him next. I realise now I had been in a complete bubble of self-denial and I should have realised he was a dick before, especially when he mentioned that one of the girls going on this next shoot with him was really hot!* But...I shouldn't worry as she has a lovely boyfriend! Why would you say something like that?!
He left my flat in the middle of the night to catch his flight. I had expected not to hear from him for a few days as it was a long journey to his next shoot's location. But when a week had passed and still nothing, I went onto his Instagram page (hate the fact social media encourages this sadomasochist behaviour) and saw that he'd already posted lots of pictures, so he had definitely made it there in one piece, just hadn't bothered to contact me.
That's when I actually realised how selfish he had been the whole time we had been together, how arrogant he was and how he loved talking about himself and rarely asked me any questions. Those 2 days he was back had evolved around him - fine. But the thing that upset me the most was simply that he never once said thank you for that.
I decided to bite the bullet and send him a message saying as much. He frustratingly has a way of always knowing the right thing to say. He's very charming and his reply was no exception. He apologised and said he wasn't usually that selfish, but having only two days between trips that was just the way it came across.
I never heard from him again.
And just to clarify that slightly morbid statement...I know for a fact he is not dead!
Anyway, I have realised that this blog entry became just a complete outlet for my frustration and sadness, so I apologise to anyone who got this far! Felt good to let it out though and I can now set him free on the wind...
*Update. I understand he is now with said hot girl.
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