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The ‘No Spark’ guy

Location: The Portcullis 

I know a girl who goes on 3 dates with every single guy she matches with online, because she says you can’t tell from just one date what they’re really like and whether you actually fancy them. 

 I see her point, but tend to disagree. For the majority of dates I’ve been on, I've known within the first five minutes I didn’t fancy them! That sounds harsh, but actually it's not got anything to do with looks, height or even how interesting they are. If you don’t have that connection, that 'spark', then it’s not going to go anywhere. That stupid little spark is so important it can overcome anything, so that even if someone is not your usual 'type', you fancy the pants off them. I'm sure there have been many times when a guy has felt that 'something' wasn't there with me. It can hurt, but you just have to accept it and move on.

Saying that though, there was one guy I should maybe have tried the 3-date theory with. I actually had to look back at my messages to try to remember what happened and why we didn’t see each other again. When we met he had just been to see ‘Losing sight of shore’ – the film about an all woman crew that rowed across the Pacific, followed by a Q&A with the crew themselves. He was very cultured and passionate in his political debate, and following the date he sent me loads of links to The Cambridge Analytica controversies and such like. A little overwhelming but I still think it was because of the spark...or lack of spark, more specifically that I didn't bother organising a second date. 

 But maybe that doesn't always come straight away? Maybe it can develop, and a 3-date policy would help ignite it? I don't know. I am still working my way through this perilous online dating world and clearly have a lot to find out. If anyone has a 3-date success story, let me know!




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