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The Divorced Guy


Location: Various

Following previous dating disasters, I’d already lined up my excuses with this one so that I could leave after one drink and for that not to be regarded as ‘bad etiquette’.

But I arrived at the bar and thought perhaps I wouldn’t actually need them…he was good looking, normally dressed, normal everything! And really easy to talk to. That’s why, even when he slipped into the conversation that he had been married (no kids) and was going through a divorce, I barely even flinched. And it really didn’t bother me at all, which surprised me somewhat (clearly getting desperate!). He said they had just got married far too quickly and were breaking up on good terms.

He was from Essex and had the tiniest twinge of an accent, which, with me being completely prejudiced, made me immediately assume he was the typical Essex-boy stereotype. But I felt really bad for even thinking that as it turned out he was very intelligent, could speak German and a bit of Mandarin and we had some really interesting conversations.

We had a few good dates following that. Brunch at Primrose café in Clifton (highly recommend the smashed avocado), take away from Thali Cafe in a Tiffin set on a rug in my garden. And after that he invited me back to his flat, which coincidentally happens to be on the street down from me – I can literally see his window from my room! The inevitable happened…a bit awkward as these things sometimes are, but afterwards I was able to walk 5 minutes back to my flat so I was home with my morning gym bag packed and in bed by 11.30pm!

I invited him to join me at the Marriott Hotel, when I had booked a room as a surprise for 'the date I really liked but who's a dick’ but who couldn’t come as he had managed to get his dates muddled up and I couldn’t get my money back (obviously didn't tell this date that was the reason!). But that was the decider date for me unfortunately. It was just so incredibly awkward as we had to come up to the room to change for the pool, and I had already decided I wasn’t going to sleep with him again, because a) the ‘date who will not be named’ was coming back after 3 months and it would have felt kinda wrong, and b) the awkwardness of our first time was still playing on my mind. 

 So I basically pretended it was that unfortunate time of the month and slept alone in the hotel for the night!


I think making up an excuse to get out of sleeping with someone is not a good sign! We had an ok time together, but when we were in the jacuzzi in the hotel I jokingly said ‘Oo don’t touch my legs, I haven’t shaved in a few days’! And he said ‘You don’t have hairy legs…but hairy legs is actually one of my biggest turn-offs in a girl’.  So although that wasn’t the only reason I didn’t see him again after that date, I just don’t think I could be with someone who sees that as such a big issue, as I am seriously lazy when it comes to leg hair care (not in other areas – that I am particular about!) and I am currently sporting a ‘soft fuzzy’ look. It keeps me warm! Surprised I haven't seen him again, even in passing as we live so close, but it hopefully won't be too awkward if we do. 

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