My Dating Disasters

Location: Nettle & Rye (originality = nill!) Had some interesting messages leading up to this date. He had actually booked tickets for us to see a comedy gig, but me clearly having more dating disaster experience than him, managed to convince him into just going for a drink instead. As an aside, having discussed this with a few people now, I really believe the purpose of a first date is simply to find out whether you fancy each other - a quick drink with pre-arranged excuses in place on both sides to avoid any awkwardness if the fancying does not occur. If you are not instantly put off by each other then you can retract the excuses and stay for another. A first date is not about going to a gig or the cinema where you can’t talk to each other, or a meal where you are then locked in for hours! Anyway, back to the date in hand. In our messages we had gotten onto what we did for work (I should just copy and paste my response now as I’ve had to answer that question so many ti...

Location: Tomtom Coffee House, London I squished this date in whilst waiting for my coach back to Bristol at London Victoria. Well, it’s a numbers game apparently! Felt quite surreal ordering a cup of tea rather than my usual jug of wine. And the lack of alcohol certainly didn’t help the flow of conversation, although I did try my best! Nothing really to write home about. We messaged for a bit afterwards, but he kept referring to a conversation I swear we never had about some owls that lived in the park opposite his house: Him: ‘Saw the little owl again today, he/she looked at me and everything!’ Me: ‘Which little owl?!?!’ Suffice to say it fizzled out pretty quickly after that…

Location: The Botanist On the week of this date I had three shoots on at work, one featuring my favourite Spice Girl - Geri Halliwell (now Horner), so I was pretty exhausted by the time Friday came. The perfect excuse to bail after one drink if it didn't work out. I nipped home after work to drop off my bags, but made the obvious mistake of sitting on the couch, switching on Peep Show and getting under a blanket. I was considering cancelling and settling in for the night when he messaged to say he was going to be early...urgh! I somehow managed to drag myself away from the TV and for the first time in ages made a bit of effort with my make-up and outfit. I met him at the Botanist, which is a lovely bar/restaurant off the triangle, which I hadn't been to in years. I knew he was 40, so on the upper end of my age bracket, but his pictures must have been taken at least 5 years beforehand as he looked like a proper middle aged man and when we started chatting I realised he tal...

Location: Chandos Street Festival I think this date was the worst of all, and that is saying something! But it was definitely all my fault this time... I had been mooching around back at Dad’s house for the weekend, hiding from the world and feeling very sorry for myself, when pre-mentioned colleague messaged to ask if I wanted to join her and her friend at Chandos Road street festival. She said it looked very quaint and middle class and so obviously I would love it! Mmmm. I had a date lined up at 6pm with a South African guy (literally can't help myself!) who had seemed quite cool from our pre-date messages, but decided to join them anyway early afternoon and soon got wrapped up in the music…and drinking… Her friend also had a date at 4.30 and so it was basically a tag team affair, because he returned after only an hour to take over 'Jo babysitting' when I had to leave for mine. By this point, 3 hours of solid drinking in and being a complete light-weigh...

Location: Various Following previous dating disasters, I’d already lined up my excuses with this one so that I could leave after one drink and for that not to be regarded as ‘bad etiquette’. But I arrived at the bar and thought perhaps I wouldn’t actually need them…he was good looking, normally dressed, normal everything! And really easy to talk to. That’s why, even when he slipped into the conversation that he had been married (no kids) and was going through a divorce, I barely even flinched. And it really didn’t bother me at all, which surprised me somewhat (clearly getting desperate!). He said they had just got married far too quickly and were breaking up on good terms. He was from Essex and had the tiniest twinge of an accent, which, with me being completely prejudiced, made me  immediately assume he was the typical Essex-boy stereotype. But I felt really bad for even thinking that as it turned out he was very intelligent, could speak German and a bit of Mandarin ...